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We went round the downstairs rooms first, living room, dining room, kitchen, utility room, toilet and a study. Jack opened one door in the kitchen and I looked into the big, empty garage. Jack let me go up the stairs first and he followed, carrying my bag. We went into one room and Jack put my bag on the single bed saying that he’d get out some sheets and a duvet for me later.“This is going to be my room?” I asked.“No, this IS your room.”“It’s massive, I could hold a party in here.”“Fine, just so long as I’m invited, come on, there’s more.”Next to that room was the bathroom with a bath, a shower, sink, a toilet and another ‘thing’ that looked a bit like a toilet.“What’s that?” I asked“A bidet, it’s for washing your genitals without having to get fully undressed and into the bath or shower.”“Oh, I’ve never heard of one of those, do you use it?”“No, I prefer a shower, in fact I never use this bathroom I’ve got one attached to my bedroom.”“So I’ll be the only one to use this. When I woke up I was in a nunnery. No, that isn't the fate they reservefor unmarried mothers here, besides, I'm not showing yet and won't befor a while. It turns out the good sisters run a charity hospital,treating the destitute, the homeless, the poor and the uninsured andunder insured. In particular, as part of their mission to save childrenfrom being aborted they offer an unrivalled ante-natal and maternityservice. Sometimes I really can believe there is a God looking out forus. I didn't even know America had nuns!I think I must, at some point have regained semi-consciousness withoutremembering it because nuns got into my dreams. I dreamt I was beingpursued by Michael dressed as a Nazi. I dreamt Michael was being chasedby anti-Nazi nuns. I dreamt I was a Nazi and I'd been captured by nunswho were forcing me to sing numbers from 'The Sound of Music'Of course, I didn't know about the hospital when I woke up to findmyself strapped to a bed, with a nun in full habit leaning over me..
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